Memories come rushing in on me as one of my friends is in the midst of her first birth. The first birth is a funny thing. No matter how much you try to control it, you can't. And most women who try to control it with drugs, end up in a c-section. Some don't. Some get their way...but the recovery is normally a little longer and the baby got some drugs, too. So, what's a woman to do? My firmest belief in birth is that one must respect their body and respect the baby. In doing this, one of the best "gifts" given to me in birth is a hearty dose of what the baby's personality will be like.
My first birth was the hardest by far. Long and hard. Thankfully, it started at 4AM with my water breaking and contractions starting. So, I had had at least a medium night's sleep. Contractions got close together quickly and stayed right there all the way up until the birth. They never let up. When the midwife checked me at 7 or 8AM, I had not dilated AT ALL. In fact, my cervix was as hard as a rock. This is something a woman does not want to hear.....ever. I had had contractions previous to the water breakage and then all of those contractions from 4AM, what was that about? My instructions were to walk about a mile. Thank goodness I was in shape! So, slowly, slowly, I crept around the block with Mark, squeezing my combs every 2 minutes breathing and taking breaks. I get back to the apartment, they check me again, and I am fully effaced, 2 centimeters and they instruct me to walk another mile (while they went to Starbucks and were having a grand 'ol time). Discouraged, I got in the bed and pulled the covers over my head. I decided to side lie and do some deep breathing. After a few minutes of this, I decided to hop into a hot bath with some chocolate covered almonds. Nothing felt quite so good as that hot bath with the chocolate covered almonds....I have to admit. The second I was in the water, all of my nerves relaxed, I think I even dozed....and life was good. So, that's where I stayed for most of the day.
The midwives would make me get out of the tub every so often to speed things up, and then I would get back in again. Thankfully, my family and Mark and everyone surrounding me were so helpful and loving to endure a whole day of my groaning. I started groaning pretty early in the day and it felt so great, I just groaned all day long. Mark thought it was pretty scary and called in the "backup" troops when he'd had enough groaning. I may have done it more for attention than anything, but once I started groaning, I couldn't stop. I haven't groaned on the other births that much, but in his memory I groan every time. I guess it was a bad memory moment for him.
ANYWAY, the whole point of the story is that I had no idea my labor would be so long. I lifted weights and walked the whole time I was pregnant, plus, I had read every book available to me, so naturally, I thought I would have this really zippy birth. When a zippy birth did not happen, I just held on until the last moment, but, in retrospect, I probably would have relaxed a little more had I known it would take19 hours.
After the first birth, I got a little panicky when the next birth started at night. We had been at Sea World all day, sweating it out, and just as I lay my head on the pillow, my water broke. THIS time, I kept my cool. Actually, I was nervous Holly (the midwife) would make me get on the treadmill and get it going, but she encouraged me to sleep as much as I could until the morning, and that's exactly what I did. That little nap gave me the rest I needed and the next morning, I was ready to go again. I fed the 1 1/2 year old, put her down for a morning nap, called the midwives, and then went into an overdrive birth from 10AM to 1PM when I pushed out number two. All this to say, conserving your energy is a good thing. Your body is super smart and will go into labor on its' own....just CONSERVE energy for transition and pushing as much as you can. The hardest part about that labor was pushing-it was very painful when her head came through the birth canal (the others weren't like that), and maybe it was because it was SO fast, that I could not get a breath. Anyway, that child ended up with my personality.....she go go go goes....and still needs naps at 5 years old, because she is so active.
Number three started at 3PM, which I thought was a pretty safe time. It just started with light contractiions, pretty far apart, and was so mild, I went out to a birthday dinner, only to decide I did not want to be there once I got in a hard chair with obnoxious restaurant music and gross restaurant smell (not much of a restaurant girl). I got home, called the midwives and they agreed I WAS in labor, although contractions never got closer than 10 minutes apart and I seemd to progress better lying down? This was VERY hard for me to fathom. I am by nature, a "doer". It is hard for me to lie down unless I am totally exhausted, but it seemed right, so I just lay down and slept between contractions, the midwives slept on the couch and I woke up to squeeze the combs every 10 to 12 minutes. I had 2 hard contractions around 2:30 AM, and then I knew it was time to push, so I got in the shower and boom, pushed 4 or 5 times and out came the baby. The big surprise on that one was the lying down and extra slow part. But that baby's personality is VERY methodical, organized, particular, and he licks his ice cream more slowly than anyone I know, enjoying every moment of life. The only way I could accept lying down to birth is by thinking of a horse lying down in a barn or a cow giving birth to her calf. I thought "animals do it, I guess humans can do it too". (This may sound strange to a hospital birther, but I'm used to walking around the block or getting in the pool or bouncing on my birthing ball...the bed is completely unappealing to me)
Number four was quick and easy. Actually, that one, the labor started at 2AM on two different nights. I labored for an hour and then , got a little tired, so I did the side lying (Childbirth Without Fear) and fell right back to sleep. I sort of assumed labor would pick up again in the morning and both times,...nothing. Well, it kind of bummed Mark out. He would get awake enough to get excited, and all of a sudden, I'm snoring. After two different nights of this, he kind of stormed to work and said not to ruin his sleep again, or something like that. I think he thought I was faking it or something????? Not sure. Anyway, again, SUCH a different birth. I was really due on September 11th, but did not want to come on that day, so I told everyone September 10th. The baby did not come on the 10th or 11th, so the morning of the 12th, I took a little bit of castor oil and that seemed to "do it" for me. I was in labor in 5 minutes and pushed about an hour later for 45 seconds. Again, another high energy baby with some fight in him. Everything about number four was a surprise. I was unsure of his sex (with the others I instinctively knew), and then the labor was like a game of hide and seek and he (more than the others) is such a funny jokester. SO funny and surprising. He came out of my body with blond hair and I thought I saw freckles....they went away, but I thought maybe he got them through my stomach since I was in the sun so much. Anyway, again, I am SO GRATEFUL that I did fall back asleep those two nights. Yeah, it was a couple of days longer that I had to wait, but I think my body got a lot done in those two "spurts" of time, and then when it boiled down to the day, labor was easier than making a batch of soap.
In the end, my advice to any woman about to give birth, is this. You have been forced to patience over 9 months....use all of the self control and discipline you have to be patient just a few more days or hours, whatever the case may be and your birth will be a more enjoyable and restful experience. If you push yourself to the max before you reach 5 centimeters, you will probably still have the baby naturally, but tiredness can have a negative effect on your rationale. Whereas, if you trust your body, respect God's timing, trust the baby (there's a chemical in the babie's brain that actuallly starts birth), then the fruit and the victory is that much sweeter and enjoyable. AND, the photos of you will be fresher looking.
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