I wasn't intending on a long term relationship, it just sort of happened when I was least expecting. We met after my last birth. For some reason, my last pregnancy dealt my body a serious blow. I don't know if the hormones suddenly exploded inside of me and then talked to my whole body, and my brain, instructing it to do the opposite of what it had done my whole life, but I felt toxic.
My nose ran for three months straight, my skin was broken out, my brain was foggy, and I looked like a poster child for the woman's midlife crisis clinic.
My body was saying "help me". And the intuition I had was that my liver was full. It was probably all of the lemon meringue pie, bean and cheese tacos, and heavy chocolate load I gobbled down the last five pregnancies. Or maybe it was hormone overload, whatever -I felt like a sick person. Boo. Hiss.
At first I looked at cleanses, and even ordered a super duper special liver "detox" powder that was black, gray, and had chunks. You were supposed to stir this in a glass of water??? I don't know what kind of water the person writing the instructions was talking about, maybe they meant whiskey and did not divulge the real plan, but at my house, the black tar clump didn't blend into a glass of water. So I ended up gagging it down in applesauce for five days straight. Each day of gagging motivated me towards something else-even the thought of sticking a tube up my butt was becoming more attractive than this.
At precisely the moment of applesauce gagging, I was reading; Dr. Max Gerson, Healing the Hopeless, by Howard Strauss (Max's grandson who graduated from MIT and then honored his grandfather with this amazing Biography). I had heard of the Gerson Therapy, but I always like to know the person behind the therapy. The book is long-377 pages, but I treasured each and every word. Howard frames his grandfathers legacy and it takes my breath away. Dr. Gerson and his family escaped the ovens of Germany, only to come to America and endure the ovens of the American Medical Association, and yet he never quit fighting against cancer with truth, honor, loyalty, and was a pioneer of his time.
When I came to the part of his medical plan that includes using coffee enemas to help "clear the liver", I could not contain my excitement-it was fate. I ran to the freezer and got the Neiman Marcus blend of Christmas coffee which had resided in the freezer for upwards of two years. It was not organic (a must)-but it was the only coffee in the house and I was a desperate soupy nose blowing woman who needed de-fogging. I brewed it up, and sent it to a place where no coffee had been before.
Within twenty seconds, my runny close cleared, then my foggy brain cleared, and within a couple of days, my skin cleared. It was an innocent yet desperate inauguration of our relationship, and that was three years ago. I did a coffee enema every few days for a couple of months, then I felt so good, I forgot about it for a few months, then took it up again. There were so many questions that I had. The instructions were to let it "boil in a saucepan" at least 15 minutes, then strain it, then put it in the enema bag-a somewhat cumbersome method to get every bit of the goodness out of the beans.
Ugh. Dr. Gerson's recipe is taking too much time. Forget about it. One day I have a eureka moment-"Just brew the coffee in a coffee pot-it's better than not doing it at all". All of the hard work of making the coffee a special way goes away and I am left with an easy plan.
I can multi-task. I can make the coffee at night, stick it in my rear while I shower the next morning. I then lay on my side for the appointed 10-12 minutes while I am reading a memoir, and then let it out. Its' actually a very meditative time for me. I am forced to lie down for 12 minutes while awake-
Just this past week I added something to the coffee. It is a mix of epsom salt, baking soda, and lavender oil-like a bath salt. Just a teaspoon added to the coffee makes a huge difference. My liver seems to clear out more than normal, it's easier to retain, and is more comfortable than straight coffee, or coffee with cold water added to make the temp. around 98 degrees.
I have naysayer friends. Friends that point out the "unnaturalness" of it. Seeming so true, I could not rebut this for two years, and I was putting the groceries in the car a few weeks ago when the answer fluttered around my head, then landed. In 1952, the government began to genetically modify wheat. 1952 was just the beginning, and then we modified it more and more, and still more.
Any product that we consume which contains flour (and most of us eat something with flour for breakfast, lunch, AND dinner) is made of this stuff. It's not a real food anymore. It is a scientific experiment we call flour. We don't always eat what's natural, and therefore, something that does not "seem" natural", but will cleanse both the liver and gallbladder, may in fact be an important key to health.
And so, all of the uncertainties and insecurities surrounding me and my bag fall away, and I am a girl in love...again. My brain clears every time I do this, and its' the cheapest high I can get. I have a friend who called saying she would have to "have her gallbladder out." I promptly sent her an article on the cleansing effects of the coffee enema on the gallbladder...."She'd rather have surgery" was the reply.
I don't blame my friend. Its' the "exit only" sign we cling to our bottoms-we'd rather have surgery than do this...unless we look like death warmed over and are yelling at our kids like some strange maniac demon possessed being that is supposed to be called "mom", hating ourselves for what we've become and realizing that we have two choices-take drugs, or order the silicone bag for $40 off of Amazon.
I'm way too cheap to buy drugs, so I opt for the bag and some organic grounds from Costco.
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