Scheduling...the art of the perfect NIGHT

max going potty

A lot of people think they have me pegged when they hear "home birth". They think I'm vegan and I have two king size beds pushed together and we all are one big happy vegan homeschooling co-sleeping family. Well, if you want to know what's for dinner...it's usually going to be BEEF.

So, all home birthers aren't vegan and still wear a bra after the birth is over. I also am not big on co-sleeping. I just can't do it. Yes, the baby sleeps with me for part of the night some nights. But I sleep better and she sleeps better when we have a little space between us. Usually, I have her bassinet or Moses basket or Miyo hammock in my room...for four days. After four days, I feel I MUST get some sleep, so I move the bed of choice into my closet. They will then sleep there for about three months or so and then move to their crib in their room. Every child is different, but this four day deal has been the same all five times.

I personally like the closet because it's dark and away from the rest of the house, so I can keep it reasonably quiet and safe from the other children. Let's face it, the most hazardous moments in the baby's first year will be what the siblings may inflict or try to accomplish when mom's not around. I also found that when I had my second child, the first one appreciated saying good-bye and having her go into the closet for naps. It helped both of us gently incorporate number two into our lives as she slowly slept her way awake. By the time my first one was ready to have the other one around all of the time, the second one was awake more and could be around all of the time.

My favorite book for how to put baby on a schedule is Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo. That one book gave me more confidence as a mom than almost any other book out there. I am not legalistic about scheduling, but I am very conscious of "the schedule" and when things get a little rough, I immediately go back to looking at the clock, waking baby up after three hours, and squeezing in a couple of 2 hour feedings at night before bed. I like for my last feeding to be at 10:30PM. Baby wakes at 2:30 and at 6:30Am and the night is good when it's this predictable, I don't wake baby at night, just during the day if necessary. She sleeps so well in the Miyo hammock, I DO have to wake her during the day.

I have not been able to feed her at 10:30PM until last night. Every night she wakes early...9PM or 8:30 and acts as if she's starving. Last night, around 8:45, friends came over and wanted to hold her. We peeked in the Miyo baby hammock and she was getting restless so I got her out for them to hold. I THEN, put her in my personal sling and wore her. We went out into the driveway and talked and I patted her bottom and she lightly slept as long as I did this. I came in and did some chores and she continued sleeping until 10:30 when I woke her up and changed her, put her on the potty, and fed her. She then slept BEAUTIFULLY the rest of the night. It was the perfect night with a 2;30AM wakeup. i had had some sleep so I had the strength (after feeding her in our bed), to take her back to her bed, and then at 6:30Am...same thing. I felt like a new woman with just some good sleep behind me.

One note here. The potty. This is another interesting factoid that has worked and works beautifully with me and with our babies. When I change the baby's diaper, I take off the diaper and then I hold them underneath their thighs and with their back against my chest. I hold them either over the sink or sit and hold them on the toilet. This is called "infant potty training" and it's not really potty training, it's just letting them relieve themselves if they feel the "need". Mine are VERY responsive to this and from the first meconium poop, like to go anywhere but the diaper. Every single one of mine really enjoyed these moments and usually when they squirm and cry it's either tiredness, hunger, or NEED to go potty. Today, I was at the lawyers office with my husband and Miley would not be consoled, so I took her straight to the bathroom and she pooped right in the potty and then all was better. (and that's about all I'm going to say about THAT)

I had to post about scheduling because I think it gives new moms amazing confidence when they know WHY their baby is crying. By two weeks old, I can tell why my baby is crying and sometimes she's just tired and grouchy and I promptly put her in bed and let her cry. She's cried as long as 15 minutes and then I turn around and she's totally asleep for a couple of hours. I don't really rock my babies until they are older. No time, really. Also, I like for them to learn to go to sleep without any "props". Oh, another AWESOME book on sleep is HEalthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child-Marc Weissbluth-this one is great for all phases of life...BabyWise is more for the infant....but either way, instilling great sleep habits from the beginning is key to enjoying one another and both of you getting great sleep.

My bit on Cloth Diapering and Cloth diapers

Michael has on a diaper cover I knitted in this pic

Cloth diapering is easy and simple and fun. Basically, you are putting a cloth in a velcro cover and velcro it on the baby...that's it! I sold cloth diapers before we had children and then we moved out to the country and UPS no longer came to my house, so I stopped selling them.

The things I like about quality cloth diapers:

*they are cotton

* they are always on hand

* they are extremely absorbent

*they come in cute prints

* they are versatile...you can use them for quick burp rags...

*If you have the internet, they are easy accessible and can be at your house in days

* I like travelling with them-as long as there is a washer and dryer where we are staying.

*no rashes

The quality makes the difference. I personally like Chinese Prefold diapers, the bleached ones. This is the old fashioned looking diaper with more layers of cotton in the middle than down the edges. After five kids, I have to own up to the fact that I do not really like the pocket diapers (for me). I used fuzzi bunz and my children seemed too hot in them. I line my diapers with a piece of fleece or a polar fleece liner. My favorite covers (for me), are the Bummis super whisper wraps (if I am using a velcro wrap), or the Bumkins pull up pants in super cute prints (if I am using a snappi fastener). If you use a velcro wrap, all you do is fold the diaper into thirds, place it down the runway of the cover and velcro it snugly around baby. If you are using a snappi fastener (a little $2 item that will snugly hold the diaper in place-use instead of pins), then you snappi the diaper around the baby and then pull up a cute cover on top.

In the photo, Michael is wearing a hand knitted wool pull up pants on top of a cotton diaper that has been firmly put in place with a snappi fastener. That's my personal favorite way of diapering, but for grandmas and helpers....I like to keep the velcro covers on hand-the snappi takes a TINY bit of practice.

O.K. The biggest "issue" with many is washing. So, what about washing? Mostly, the guys are nervous about this. They imagine the poop on their favorite golf shirt and that's the end of that. Basically, dirt is dirt. Your washing machine can handle dirt of all sizes and styles. It handles food stains, dirt, blood, chocolate, and more. When baby is little, their poop is just easy, it comes out just like anything else in the wash. As they get older, you can dump the diaper in the potty and then wash. Once I get to the point (1.5 years old), where I am scraping five poops a day and rinsing huge poop diapers out....I switch to disposables. This is where it gets dicey and I'm out. Usually, I'm pregnant at this point, too. So, it makes it a double exit for me. But until this point, you are saving money every week you use cloth and baby has little to no rashing.

For travel, use a little waterproof "ditty" bag. I like to have this on hand anyway. All yukkies go into this bag and then I separate it out when I get home. The ones out now....are TOO CUTE! I found a website that has all of my favorites (except for the Bumkins pull up pants). It's called www.diaperco.com. Very cool. It is located in Texas, so you'll get hit with state tax if you live here.

Feel free to email me with questions. There are local diaper classes through Diane with www.gobabygo.com. These classes are free and you can learn all about cloth diapering and see samples...this helps lots of people get comfortable with the process.

The Sitz bath

A picture of one of the amazing gifts we received. They are chocolate covered strawberries from Shari's Berries (www.berries.com) Thank you to all of the people who have given gifts....we are overwhelmed by your love

I have to write a little article on the sitz bath since I forgot to mention it on the postpartum tidbits. The sitz bath that I used from www.wishgardenherbs.com was totally amazing. I could feel my "parts" healing as I sat in it. I only did three baths, but it seemed to make a big difference for me....definitely worth mentioning.

I did not do the sitz bath on the first four births...because I assumed you had to sit in a special pot or something for it to really work. This time, my midwife boiled the leaves and then I skimmed them off and poured the pot of brown "tea" into a regular bathtub. I added hot water...just enough to bring the water level up a couple of inches, and then sat in it for 10 minutes or so. Easy. And so great!

A Few Postpartum Tidbits

Well, baby is about 10 days old and I thought I would journal a few little tidbits about this postpartum time before it flies out of my mind forever. This time, I didn't really tear, which made postpartum days a SNAP. By day three, I had no soreness at all and felt surprisingly good. By day 7, I felt ready to exercise again. But first, a few tricks I figured out this time.

First of all, I had tremendous post labor contractions. I immediately took herbs which I got from www.wishgardenherbs.com. The tincture I took was afterease. This seems to help a lot on the first day and then not as much on day two or three. I'm not sure why. This time, I immediately began drinking my magnesium drink (calm) which I got from www.vitacost.com. I drank it all day and had no post partum contractions starting about an hour after I drank it until six at night. At that point, my stools went all loose on me and I had to stop drinking it for the rest of the night. (if you have "d", take activated charcoal...works wonders) About four hours AFTER I stopped drinking it, the contractions started again, strong, every 10 minutes for the rest of the night. I could not sleep because of them and ended up in a ball in the bottom of my bathtub at 5AM. Finally, I got to doze from 5AM to 6AM or so. Needless to say, I was a wreck after that night and Holly suggested a heating pad and some advil. I started my magnesium drink again when the sun started shining through the window and had another contraction-free day. By the end of the day, "d" again. Stopped drinking it, then took an advil....and that was it. The post partum contractions totally subsided after that and I felt great.

The second I have the baby. I start wearing my "belt". This time I tried the "belly bandit" original. It was sort of hard and scratchy and by day three, I had a little heat rash from it and realized I could not wear that particular fabric for six weeks. I contacted belly bandit and sent them photos of my heat rash and they sent me an "upgraded" version of their belly wrap...the belly bandit couture. Very nice. Very soft, much more doable. I wear it day and night, just about 24 hours a day. This concept has been around for years in other countries. In other countries, women wrap their bellies right after the birth (very tightly ) with cloth and their stomachs go right down to normal much more quickly. I have wrapped all but one time and that one time, my stomach looked TOTALLY different than the other times. I had loose skin which I thought was beyond repair....and it stayed for 9 months. Finally, I did an extreme makeover stomach video workout routine and it got whipped into shape right before the next pregnancy. Not fun. My stomach looks the same as it did pre-birth by 6 weeks at the longest when I wrap.

Emotionally, I have not experienced any post-partum blues this time. I was all ready with my "baby blues" tincture from www.wishgardenherbs.com and I have been taking them since my milk came in, but I have never felt quite so normal in my life. The only "off" balance item is I am super clumsy and forgetful which seems to be par for the course when you are nursing, otherwise, by day three after this birth I felt better than I ever have and was pretty much ready to go again. God's grace for five children HAS to be part of the equation since you can't lie on your back too long with four others running around.

I'm trying to think of any other tidbits. I have gone walking and swam some laps today. I will say that swimming was the greatest gift of the pregnancy. I would hesitate getting pregnant again if we lived somewhere that did not have a pool. I did not swell this time (which is my least favorite side effect), and got to exercise up until the DAY of the birth. Then, when I swam today, I realized just how refreshing and wonderful swimming could be as a post partum pick-me-up. Wow.

Interestingly, this pregnancy left me totally different than the other four. This time, I realized I've been bitten by the pregnancy and baby bug and I seriously....could have five more. Once you pass four.......???? I dreaded each pregnancy leading up to number four. I knew we were destined to have four, so I just gritted my teeth and jumped in to each pregnancy counting down from four to one. After number four, I got back into shape as fast as I physically could....and then SURPRISE....number five. And suddenly, the whole process seems so simple and wonderful and uncomplicated. Now, I really will have to pray because I think I might be dangerously unafraid of the process and completely enamored with the whole pregancy and baby thing. You would think it would "get out of my system", but somehow, this pregnancy left me different than I was before. What's one more? Join the gang, we sing as we make another little space for the upcoming baby in our hearts and in our home.

July 16th, Finally, a birthday!

It's funny. Birth and death are never what we plan or expect them to be. And this birth was no exception. All of my "due" dates came and went as well as a few warm up contractions, cool down contractions, warm up labor...false labor. And then, last night at 1:45 AM it was finally "time" and the feeling when it's finally time is like this: all of the other times you're thinking, is this it? I hope it's it....and then when it's really time, you KNOW it's it. I KNEW when I got in bed it would happen last night and I better get a nap before the action went down.

Oh, I left out a small detail....yesterday my water broke at 10:30 AM. So, all day, I'm leaking water. I got in the pool for part of it, wore a diaper, a pad, but then at dinner I had one hard contraction and when I stood up, the kids asked why I wet the floor. It was a moment.

So, last night, after swimming almost an hour and walking almost 2 miles and no contractions...I just went to bed. At 1:45, I woke up with a contraction every 4 minutes, and at 2:30 I texted the midwife and told her what was going on and then let Mark know I was getting in the hot tub (he had fallen asleep about 10 minutes before...hats off to the dads who are going through it more than we are-ESPECIALLY when labor starts and stops for three weeks like that).

So, hopped in the hot tub, had about 8 contractions, time to push, and pushing took awhile. Usually, the head is the hardest part and then the body just pops out. This time, the head was hard, and the body was harder. I could feel the "bigness" and all of the parts on the inside of me. Thank you everyone who prayed for me. There was a point in pushing when I thought, I really don't think I can do this. And, thankfully, between the Holy Spirit and Holly and Mark....Miley Abigail CAME OUT.

She's a quiet little 'er, big, thing. She weighed 11 lbs. 2 ounces and her head measured 14 and 1/2, but the chest and stomach both measured 15 inches, and it FELT like 15 inches of mass was coming out of me. Finally, I pushed to the stomach and then flipped around and just pulled her out...that was pretty cool.

Thankfully, the Holy Spirit put it on my heart when I started to push to take it very slowly...and I had a teeny tiny tear/lesion that was less than any of the other four births. Praise God!

So, another Fessler has come into the world. And how can I complain? When I get down to brass tacks, labor was 2 hours from start to finish. Well, unless I add the other nights of labor in, but the recovery from a little warm up labor is simply....to sleep. Recovery from birth involves sleep, salves, herbs, belly bandits, and more. Although, I will say I feel VERY good this time. I've had two naps and the baby is sleeping nicely, plus I've eaten a car load of food and drunk about 120 ounces of "calm". Such a nice drink.

So, there you have it. Baby number five. I am so blessed....so blessed with lots of babies. And this birth was a good one. Just, so far, I haven't had any "canned" births. They have all been different times, places, dates, but I think God delights in that, don't you?

"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven....A time to give birth....." Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

BIrth Day

Well, we had three due dates. The sonogram date was July 6th, the midwife's date was the 7th, and mine was the 8th. So, today's the last official possible due date, then we go into overtime. I have actually been in labor all day, but I'm not sure you would call it labor? God told Adam and God told Eve, they would have "labor". The word He assigned was the same word, ie. meant the same thing for both of them. Both of them would sweat. Adam would do it every day. Eve would do it when she had kids. I haven't broken a sweat yet. In fact, every 3-7 minutes I have a contraction which I would compare to ....nothing. Braxton Hicks? Except maybe one minutia stronger? It was like this on number three. I knew it was "labor" because of the every few minute thing, but it was so easy and non-laborish that I went to a restaurant that night. Once there, I realized I did not want to be there, point is, it was mild enough that I could go on with normal business. So, this one seems to be around that same type of deal.

I got all of the birth announcements addressed, made cookies, walked a little over a mile (this morning), swam, napped, read to kids, paid bills, felt a little bit like a loaf....Mark's picking up dinner. Will walk again after dinner and kids are put to bed. This would be a cool "birth" day: 7.8.2009...course, any day would be cool at this point. I'm dilated to 4 centimeters and baby moved all the way down into the pelvis last night. Kids are exhausted from so much swimming, we must cut back. But once you get this big, the pool feels SO GOOD. If you see a girl walking your neighborhood with her stomach sticking out of her clothes, she's not trying to be sexy, her stomach no longer FITS into any of her maternity clothes.

Wings...or How to Survive the Last Few Days Before birth

"He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary." Isaiah 40:29-31

And so, this is my passage for the week. I have 4 more days til due date and nothing energizes me or strengthens me to the task like the Word of God. You can do all the spa days you want, but when it comes to brass tacks, nothing quite beats reading His Word aloud to myself. In 10 minutes max, I feel my spirit soar and my mood lift and totally refreshed for the coarse ahead. This has got to be the secret to my success, because at this point I feel like I could go quite a bit more, yet the due date is less than a week away. The only restrictive thing would be, I would have to wear mumu's for the rest of the time since none of the clothes seem to hide my belly anymore.

In the meantime, the house is ready for labor. I have out the "birthing ball" which is just a pilates ball we hide in the attic. It's great for sitting on pre-birth and getting the baby to descend in the pelvis. It's also very relaxing in birth. I have herbs out....for transition and for afterpains. I have the baby outfits out, my outfit for after the birth, and a chucks pad for the bed. The bed is funny. The midwife wants you to make the bed with one set of good sheets, one plastic sheet, and on top a set of yukky sheets. After the 2cd birth, I just got a pad from bed bath and beyond-it's about 3 foot square and holds tons of liquid with a waterproof backing. That sucker has been awesome for birth, prenatals, and for when the kids wet the bed. If they do wet the bed, (it's pretty rare), but if I'm too tired to do much, I grab a chucks pad and they sleep on that.

Anyway, cloth diapers are out. I ended up with a miyo baby hammock, that's in the bedroom. My frozen condoms are in the freezer, aloe and witch hazel in the fridge (favorites for healing). Gatorade is on hand along with lots of bottled water. I usually make cookies for the midwife, but this will be too fast for much snacking. Birthing combs are by the bed and my finger is poised over the hot tub buttons to get it warmed up. Is that all? Hope so.

Oh yeah, I hate disposable pads. I use them for a day or two, then I turn to cotton. My photo on this blog are some of my homemade cotton pads. LOVE these! You can google luna pads or cotton menstrual pads and there are lots for sale out there. What I do after the birth is put a dark bucket of water by my toilet. As I soak my pads, I throw them in the wet bucket and then this gets sloshed into the washing machine every couple of days. The pads I made have a holder that buttons around the panties and then removable "liners". If it's a heavy day, I can use two liners, if it's light, I use one. So I have lots more liners than holders. Like my cotton breastpads, I really enjoy these.

O.k. So, the house is ready, I'm ready, and God's strengthened me for the task. So looking forward to meeting this one!